Internet Recommendations: April 2017

I have trawled through the internet so you don’t have to!

I am a semi professional internet person, and I’m here to help you separate the wheat from the chaff, as it were. All the shit that’s fit to upload with no or limited repercussions due to the toxic culture of the internet 🙂

YouTube

Cold Crash Pictures

This is one of my favorite under-appreciated channels on YT. I’m not a movie buff or whatever by any stretch of the imagination, but sometimes I can pretend to be watching his videos, which are always clearly well thought out and insightful in addition to being edited well. Is that a weird thing to notice? Like they are just easy to watch partly by virtue of being put together so nicely. He also shares my love of the Animorphs, which I hadn’t thought about in years until he mentioned it in one of his videos. The best part of this channel is when you get snippets of his very very cute dog, though.

Thataylaa

Let me tell you a thing: once upon a time I lived in a house where I had, very literally, zero internet access. I moved to said house maybe two years after YouTube started to become a Thing(TM), and lived there for another two years after. When I finally moved back to the land of the living, I had no small amount of catching up to do with all the channels I had watched before. I didn’t end up sticking with a lot of them, especially in the beauty community, since I felt it had changed in that time to something different that I didn’t (and still don’t 🙂 ) like. But I’ve been watching Taylor’s videos since the veeeery beginning, and it’s because I feel like she genuinely has a different vibe and brings new and different things to the table. And frankly in the beauty community that’s a bit hard to come by. (Does that make me sound like an asshole? Don’t answer that). She just seems like a good egg and you should check her out if you haven’t already, especially since her third foundation series is about to start up again!!

Lilly Jarlsson

Right at the start of the year, I chopped like eleven inches of my hair off. I mention this because I originally stumbled upon her channel looking for a pin-curl tutorial before the Big Chop in an effort to manage it — hers was, I will say, the only one I found that I really understood and helped me get the technique down. Lilly does her videos in both English and German, if that entices you any, and she has such a unique and fresh perspective on what beauty is and what it means for like actual real life. Her videos are also just relaxing to watch and I think she is honestly just…elegant. Not to be dramatic but…I watch her videos and I feel like the type of woman who wants to get her shit together. Her vintage tutorials are also some of the better ones with regards to historical accuracy as well, and she’s just generally a delight to watch.

Blogs

Bad Outfit Great Lipstick

Remember when I told you I didn’t have internet, that one time? Renee’s original YT channel was another that passed the great purge. She also sent me a RAOK once, many many moons ago, when I was still on the MakeupAlley Boards, and I feel forever in her debt for it or something. She’s very thorough in her reviews and she introduced me to my beloved Kevyn Aucoin Sensual Skin Enhancer so I can’t see how I couldn’t mention her wonderful blog here. (It’s also so organized…literally it’s so well organized I think you just need to go witness it for the experience).

Auxiliary Beauty

I found this blog through the very organized sidebar of Renee’s blog 🙂 All their posts are well written and their lip swatches, particularly, are the stuff of dreams in that they seem to be genuinely and consistently all true to color and the comparison swatches they do are legitimately helpful. Also they just seem cool like I aspire to be and isn’t that the whole reason anyone wants to follow a blog? I appreciate that they are a Glossier Realist and sometimes they even make me want to consider doing a Low or No Buy with their own posts on the same. Crazy, I know.

Etc.

The Lunar Nodes of The Horoscope

If you are into astrology to any degree, this is a video you need to watch, honestly. You’ll get more out of it if you have a bit of background knowledge, but if you don’t just save it for later and make sure to come back when you’re ready to learn about the Lunar Nodes and their purpose. Olga really explains the axis of each sister sign well and the differences in karmic versus personal or psychological astrology — an excellent balance of theoretical astrology and practical examples and applications and delivered in a way that’s very easy to engage with. Astrolada’s channel overall can be a bit overwhelming even for me who has a certain grasp on astrology as it is, though most all of the content itself is very good. This one particularly is a stand out, though.

Petlandia.com

Bein, if you are somehow reading this, avert your eyes. This is that gift I told you I couldn’t wait until your birthday to give you. You customize a pet, name it and they mail you a personalized book about you and your pet. I mean…do I need to say anything else? I have only just now placed the order so I’ll update everyone if it takes an especially long time to ship or anything weird, but it’s such a sweet gift idea I couldn’t not mention it.

There you go! Things I’ve loved especially and wanted to share. It’s like I’m your sugar daddy and the currency in our arrangement is —

I don’t actually want to continue that metaphor. Hope the rest of your week is gr8 — enjoy the time suck that are the above links 🙂

The “Oh Shit” Makeup Bag + Bonus “I Have Fucked Up” FOTD: Late For Work Edition

I am a recently converted but strong believer in keeping a makeup bag in the purse, backpack, car, etc. I’ve upgraded to such a bag from just having a few (or twenty) lipstick tubes rolling around in the bottom of my purse because it finally hit me that rather than be five or ten minutes late to my office trying to rush to look semi presentable at home, I can toss all my shit in my bag and take five minutes in the bathroom at work while my decrepit computer boots up.

(Wake up earlier! I hear you suggest. Go to bed at a reasonable time! You cry. I don’t hear you over the sound of frantically spraying dry shampoo.)

Anyway! Some days makeup isn’t a priority. That’s life. But undoubtedly I’ll get called into a meeting or get roped into drinks or dinner after work and want to spruce up a bit. The result is something along the lines of this:

MB1

Thrilling, exciting, groundbreaking. I know.

I don’t attempt any funny business or cool-girl shit when I’m pressed for time or fucks to give. I conceal the extra terrible parts of my face, slap enough color on to look alive, and hope the lights are dim enough to make up for the difference. To do so, I keep a few things in my bag:

  1. Concealer
    • My forever fave is the Kevyn Aucoin Sensual Skin Enhancer. I can use this easily as a foundation as well if my skin is really not having it and it’s just the easiest for me. If you don’t want to shell out that $50 or fiddle with a pot you have to put your fingers in, NYX HD Concealer would fit in nicely here since it’s so easy to blend.
  2. Eyebrow Gel
    • Do I look like the kind of heifer that can bother with a pencil? (Even if I need it) I want my brows visible, so people know I have them, and that’s all I’m really asking for. And it adds shape or something to my otherwise shapeless, moonlike face. Whatever. I’ve been using the Jordana Fabubrow and will probably not be going back to the Glossier Boy Brow, if that tells you anything about how I like it.
  3. Cream Blush
    • I’m wearing the Josie Maran Coconut Water Cheek Gelee in Honeymoon Honey here, but I believe they are discontinuing these? (2017 is where joy goes to die??) I usually rely on my ELF Cream Blush Palette, though. The colors blend easy and give you enough options to work with — that peachy color I throw in the crease of my eyelid if I have a spare second for definition, and if you really wanna get wild you can pat them on the lips pretty comfortably. The mirror is also massive and wonderful and so helpful for the chronically late and unprepared.
  4. Mascara
    • My Lash Discovery Waterproof is dead as a doornail, so I’m going through this Define-A-Lash I impulse bought at Target since it was on clearance. I’d suggest something that’s mostly just lightweight and not prone to smudging when you’re slapping it on like a NASCAR tech does a tire at a pit stop.
  5. Lip Gloss/Colored Balm

bag

Honorable Makeup Bag mentions are a pair of tweezers, a lip balm, and a letter from you, to you that reads “get your shit together.”

What are your procrastination-friendly makeup faves or tricks? What do you keep in your makeup bag? I’m nosy and want to know!!

Cheeky Valentine’s Recommendations for Real Life

Something to hold you over until you get your hands on the discount chocolates tomorrow.

I know a lot of people in the book-o-sphere are making or have made “romance”-centered recommendations in the holiday spirit, and I thought of making the same. But I don’t read a lot of books where romance is the primary focus, and none of which I could recommend. It’s my own fault, really. I have my Venus in Libra in my 6th house, and my tastes are very picky and particular. In fact, I honestly think two of the most romantic things I’ve ever read are actually on AO3. (As an aside: I know fandom and fandom culture has had a weird culture shift recently into like, the public eye. But I came to age on the internet and in fandom during a time where this stuff was kept on the down low. [Post on that coming eventually]. The fact I just linked to AO3 on my public blog feels strange still).

But I figured I could still throw a few ideas out there for folks of the cinematic persuasion. (And use this as an open call to hear about your favorite romances across books, TV, etc.!)

For the Single and…

  • Thirsty: Boys Over Flowers (Netflix), Luke Cage (Netflix)
    • Boys Over Flowers was one of the OG “reverse-harem” series I was introduced to. It’s very, very sweet, but also focuses, as a main plot point, on a group of handsome, wealthy men. I feel contractually obligated to mention it here for that reason. Enjoy.
    • Simone. Missick. Rosario. Dawson. Alfre. Woodard. Round that out with Mahershala Ali, Mike Colter, and Theo Rossi and you have the best looking cast of any MCU production. (The fact that it is, in fact, the single best thing [with the single best soundtrack!] Marvel has produced to date is really only the cherry on top).
  • Jaded: Whipped (YouTube), Unreal (Hulu)
    • A pilot for a series I desperately hope gets picked up by some platform so I can have more of it. A straight-laced man walks in on his girlfriend engaged in a BDSM scene with another man. In an effort to win her back, he winds up in a sex shop. Foolery ensues. Obviously 18+ and NSFW but worth a watch, as are all the “product infomercials” they’ve also uploaded.
    • Love isn’t real and the proof is in this show, which you should have already been watching before now, to be honest. Beautifully written and complex characters in an unflinching look at reality television and reality TV romance, this one is particularly binge-able.
  • Uninterested: Luther (Netflix)
    • Alright. Okay. Let me explain. In addition to just being fresh on my mind as the most recent series I’ve wrapped up, I want to say now that I think Luther could also serve as fodder for the Thirsty. And the Jaded. Luther is for everyone. My real reason for including this is Idris Elba who deserves all the awards known to man because I think Luther explores, among other things, love as a verb. Love in the things you do (or don’t do) for others, and love beyond romantic love. Platonic and familial love, in fact, are shown more often in this way than romantic love. I don’t view that as the main theme, like the way they stress questions of morality v. legality and such, but I saw it enough I figured I could make the stretch to recommend it here.
    • (Honorable mention: Flashpoint Paradox, also on Netflix. I promise you need no DC comics knowledge to enjoy it, but I’m recommending it here for similar reasons as I did Luther above; this is a very good movie that focuses, among other things, on relationships between our friends and family and the lengths we could or should go for their well-being).

For the Hopelessly Romantic, Single or Otherwise

  • Practical Magic (Netflix)
    • The aesthetic, though. Also believing in love and magic etc., etc. Put the lime in the coconut and do yourself a favor and just watch it and be happy.
  • Pride and Prejudice (2005!)
    • I mean…I don’t know if I’m even legally allowed to post this without listing this movie.
  • Captain America: The Winter Soldier

For the Folks Who Just Want Something CUTE, dammit

  • Lovely Muuuuuuuco! (Crunchyroll)
    • Is there anything more pure and good than the love between dog and owner?
  • Fruits Basket (Funimation)
    • If you just want to cry. Like, laugh first, maybe. And coo a bit. But then to cry about your own life choices and how no love in your life could compare to —

Everyone Who’s a Bit “All of the Above”

  • Beating Again. Beating Again. BEATING AGAIN!!!!! (Netflix). This show…this show. Everything you could possibly want. Everything! This was enough to melt my own icy heart and bring me to tears several times. This was also clever and funny enough to keep me belly-laughing when my tear ducts weren’t otherwise occupied. This is, to date, the only series I have ever gone back to re-watch. Just…watch it, and then come back and let’s talk about it.

As for me on V-Day, I’m going to finally sit down and watch Big Eden on Hulu, and maybe finish Yuri! On Ice.

(Also, I struggled thinking of readily available, happy [or at least happy-ending] series or movies involving sapphic women, especially as main characters. If anyone has any recommendations I would be much obliged).

Before you leave, might I also recommend: my favorite bath soak, face maskwine, or tea with any of these selections?